Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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