i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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