I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
