your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
