wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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