SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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