So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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