im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
