Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize