I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
