redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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