i think i have herpe
just one?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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