Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's never too late to be topless.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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