just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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