Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
