I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
