she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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