Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
