The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
