who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
