Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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