Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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