We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
