I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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