So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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