That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
where are you?
Hypothermia
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
