I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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