I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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