honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
