We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
