You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
