So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
