had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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