4 words: hood of his car
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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