Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize