I didn't shave. On purpose
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
