I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
YAS. BRING CRAB.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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