i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
