Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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