Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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