hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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