My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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