He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
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I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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