Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize