I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
