Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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