You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
