By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
