she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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