I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
