She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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