do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
