I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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