Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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