that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize