If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
