I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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