I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
